After being dumped by his longtime girlfriend, twenty-eight-year-old Justin Halpern found himself living at home with his seventy-three-year-old dad. Sam Halpern, who is "like Socrates, but angrier, and with worse hair," has never minced words, and when Justin moved back home, he began to record all the ridiculous things his dad said to him: "That woman was sexy. . . . Out of your league? Son, let women figure out why they won't screw you. Don't do it for them.""Do people your age know how to comb their hair? It looks like two squirrels crawled on their heads and started fucking.""The worst thing you can be is a liar. . . . Okay, fine, yes, the worst thing you can be is a Nazi, but then number two is liar. Nazi one, liar two."More than a million people now follow Mr. Halpern's philosophical musings on Twitter, and in this book, his son weaves a brilliantly funny, touching coming-of-age memoir around the best of his quotes. An all-American story that unfolds on the Little League field, in Denny's, during excruciating family road trips, and, most frequently, in the Halperns' kitchen over bowls of Grape-Nuts, Sh*t My Dad Says is a chaotic, hilarious, true portrait of a father-son relationship from a major new comic voice.
The Happy Herbivore Cookbook includes: * A variety of recipes from quick and simple to decadent and advanced * Helpful hints and cooking tips, from basic advice such as how to steam potatoes to more specific In Me Own Words: The Autobiography of Bigfoot download PDF information about which bread, tofu or egg replacer works best in a recipe * An easy-to-use glossary demystifying any ingredients that may be new to the reader * Healthy insight: Details on the health benefits and properties of key ingredients * Pairing suggestions with each recipe to help make menu planning easy and painless * Allergen-free recipes, including gluten-free, soy-free, corn-free, and sugar-free With a conventionally organized format; easy-to-follow, step-by-step instructions; nutritional analyses, colorful photographs; funny blurbs at the beginning of each recipe; helpful tips throughout; and chef's notes suggesting variations for each dish, even the most novice cook will find healthy cooking easy-and delicious!
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